Becky enters the library with three giggling first-graders: Gaea, Gaea's newly-emmigrated cousin Jacob, and their classmate Rotem.
Becky: Okay! Let's sit down and--
Gaea: (In charming but heavy South African accent )What are we going to do today?
Jacob and Rotem speak simultaneously
Jacob: In heavy South African accent, augmented by whistling "th" and "s" sounds due to his Jack-o-Lantern smile Are we going to play puppets? Ooh! Ooh! Becky, shall I tell you what Sugar did yesterday?
Rotem: (with two fingers in his mouth as he speaks) Becky? Can we read Hungry, Hungry Sharks?
Gaea: (impatiently) Becky! What are we going to do today? (Then hearing the magic words "Hungry, Hungry Sharks")Ooh, yes Are we going to read Hungry Hungry Sharks?
Rotem is now seated under the table poking his finger into his bellybutton comtemplatively.
Jacob: Becky, do you know what you say in Afrikaans to tell someone to go away? He says something that sounds vaguely Dutch D'you know what that means? Shall I tell you? It means, 'Go poop in the bush!'
Peals of laughter from all three
Rotem: (from under the table, with relish) Go ca-ca in a bush!
Gaea: (to Jacob) Go poop on your head!(hysterical laughter)
Becky: OH-KAAAAAAY. Let's all take a seat in our chairs (Rotem army crawls out from under the table, making himself into a human Swiffer-mop in the process. Jacob throws his pencil case onto the chair next to Becky in a proprietary "dibs" gesture then wipes his nose on his sleeve as he sits down on top of it. Meanwhile, in one fluid motion, Gaea vaults into her chair, kicks off her sneakers, then expertly leans back, balancing her chair on only one of its back legs) Gaea? Four on the floor, please! Gaea complies with a long-suffering sigh. All right, who can remember what we did last week?
Jacob: Ooh! Becky, shall I tell you? (Not waiting for a reply) We made dragon alphabet puppets, and also we wrote a story about dragon alphabet puppets. And then our dragon alphabet puppets fought! And my dragon was the strongest!
Gaea: No, Jared! My story was about a real dragon!
Rotem: Also me! I did write about the dragon of Captain Tachktooneem [Transl: "Captain Underpants"]!
Jared: Yes, but they were stories about our dragons, who are dragon alphabet puppets! And also real. But they are our puppets.
Becky silently contemplates the semiotic complexities of this claim. Rotem and Gaea accept it without pause.
Becky: Great, that's right! Yes! So, today, we are going to start by reading this storybook (brandishing the book) Can anyone tell me what the title of the book is?
Gaea: IfIhadadragon!
Rotem: What? What she say?
Jacob: She didn't raise her hand! Becky, she must raise her hand, am I right?
Gaea: (repeating, slower) If I had a dragon
Rotem: Oh, avanti! [Transl: "Understood"] And I HAVE a dragon! I have a dragon!
Becky: Yes, Gaea, try to wait to be called on next time, but great job reading the title! Wow!
Jacob: (Quiet but pointedly) I could have done a great job reading the title.
Gaea: Shall I tell you something about dragons?
Becky: gamely Okay.
Gaea: There are dragons who live in Galahoush [Ed. Galapagos Islands?] but they are not like dragons and--
Jacob: There is also one in the zoo, am I right Gaea? No, there are two. They live in a pit.
Gaea: Yes, Jacob. They have poison mouths, and if they bite you just a little, you die. Because of the germs in their mouth which. Which is poison.
Becky: Oh, right! Komodo dragons.
Gaea: (gently correcting) Kimono. Kimono Dragons.
Becky: Actually (then thinking better of it) Well, good introduction, Gaea-Girl! Let's turn to the first page and--
Gaea: Shall I tell you something else?
Becky: Does it have to do with the story we're going to read?
Gaea: Yes.
Jarred: Shall I tell you something else too, Becky? That has to do with the story?
Becky: One more thing from each of you, then we start the story. And Roh, do you want to share anything before we start reading too?
Rotem: Ehmm. . . (long pause). . . No. No, yes! Yes.
Becky: Okay, well you'll go third, okay? Now, yes, Gaea?
Gaea: Do you know the bird with the longest wings?(She illustrates with outstretched arms) It is the King Condor. And it must run before it starts to fly. Like an airplane does before it takes off.
Becky: (wondering what King Condors have to do with dragons) Cool, I didn't know that. Okay, Jacob, you have the floor!
Jacob: (vacantly) Uhm. Uhmmmmmmm. I've forgotten.
Becky: (briskly) Okay, we'll come back to you if you remember, okay buddy? Rotem, what would you like to--
Jacob: (urgently) I REMEMBER!
Becky: (small sigh) Ohhhkay. Let's have it.
Jacob: The fastest animal on land is the cheetah. And cats' claws only come out sometimes. But cheetahs' claws are always out. Because the claws help them run fast.
Becky: Another great animal fact. So, now I think we're ready to read If I Has a Dragon and when we--
Rotem: (plaintively) Also me?
Becky: Oh, Rotem! Sorry, bud! Of course, go ahead!
Rotem: (choking back giggles) Go-oh! Poop! INNN THHHHHHHE BUUUUUUSH!
A short melody plays on the PA system, signaling the end of the class period.
End of play.
Becky: Okay! Let's sit down and--
Gaea: (In charming but heavy South African accent )What are we going to do today?
Jacob and Rotem speak simultaneously
Jacob: In heavy South African accent, augmented by whistling "th" and "s" sounds due to his Jack-o-Lantern smile Are we going to play puppets? Ooh! Ooh! Becky, shall I tell you what Sugar did yesterday?
Rotem: (with two fingers in his mouth as he speaks) Becky? Can we read Hungry, Hungry Sharks?
Gaea: (impatiently) Becky! What are we going to do today? (Then hearing the magic words "Hungry, Hungry Sharks")Ooh, yes Are we going to read Hungry Hungry Sharks?
Rotem is now seated under the table poking his finger into his bellybutton comtemplatively.
Jacob: Becky, do you know what you say in Afrikaans to tell someone to go away? He says something that sounds vaguely Dutch D'you know what that means? Shall I tell you? It means, 'Go poop in the bush!'
Peals of laughter from all three
Rotem: (from under the table, with relish) Go ca-ca in a bush!
Gaea: (to Jacob) Go poop on your head!(hysterical laughter)
Becky: OH-KAAAAAAY. Let's all take a seat in our chairs (Rotem army crawls out from under the table, making himself into a human Swiffer-mop in the process. Jacob throws his pencil case onto the chair next to Becky in a proprietary "dibs" gesture then wipes his nose on his sleeve as he sits down on top of it. Meanwhile, in one fluid motion, Gaea vaults into her chair, kicks off her sneakers, then expertly leans back, balancing her chair on only one of its back legs) Gaea? Four on the floor, please! Gaea complies with a long-suffering sigh. All right, who can remember what we did last week?
Jacob: Ooh! Becky, shall I tell you? (Not waiting for a reply) We made dragon alphabet puppets, and also we wrote a story about dragon alphabet puppets. And then our dragon alphabet puppets fought! And my dragon was the strongest!
Gaea: No, Jared! My story was about a real dragon!
Rotem: Also me! I did write about the dragon of Captain Tachktooneem [Transl: "Captain Underpants"]!
Jared: Yes, but they were stories about our dragons, who are dragon alphabet puppets! And also real. But they are our puppets.
Becky silently contemplates the semiotic complexities of this claim. Rotem and Gaea accept it without pause.
Becky: Great, that's right! Yes! So, today, we are going to start by reading this storybook (brandishing the book) Can anyone tell me what the title of the book is?
Gaea: IfIhadadragon!
Rotem: What? What she say?
Jacob: She didn't raise her hand! Becky, she must raise her hand, am I right?
Gaea: (repeating, slower) If I had a dragon
Rotem: Oh, avanti! [Transl: "Understood"] And I HAVE a dragon! I have a dragon!
Becky: Yes, Gaea, try to wait to be called on next time, but great job reading the title! Wow!
Jacob: (Quiet but pointedly) I could have done a great job reading the title.
Gaea: Shall I tell you something about dragons?
Becky: gamely Okay.
Gaea: There are dragons who live in Galahoush [Ed. Galapagos Islands?] but they are not like dragons and--
Jacob: There is also one in the zoo, am I right Gaea? No, there are two. They live in a pit.
Gaea: Yes, Jacob. They have poison mouths, and if they bite you just a little, you die. Because of the germs in their mouth which. Which is poison.
Becky: Oh, right! Komodo dragons.
Gaea: (gently correcting) Kimono. Kimono Dragons.
Becky: Actually (then thinking better of it) Well, good introduction, Gaea-Girl! Let's turn to the first page and--
Gaea: Shall I tell you something else?
Becky: Does it have to do with the story we're going to read?
Gaea: Yes.
Jarred: Shall I tell you something else too, Becky? That has to do with the story?
Becky: One more thing from each of you, then we start the story. And Roh, do you want to share anything before we start reading too?
Rotem: Ehmm. . . (long pause). . . No. No, yes! Yes.
Becky: Okay, well you'll go third, okay? Now, yes, Gaea?
Gaea: Do you know the bird with the longest wings?(She illustrates with outstretched arms) It is the King Condor. And it must run before it starts to fly. Like an airplane does before it takes off.
Becky: (wondering what King Condors have to do with dragons) Cool, I didn't know that. Okay, Jacob, you have the floor!
Jacob: (vacantly) Uhm. Uhmmmmmmm. I've forgotten.
Becky: (briskly) Okay, we'll come back to you if you remember, okay buddy? Rotem, what would you like to--
Jacob: (urgently) I REMEMBER!
Becky: (small sigh) Ohhhkay. Let's have it.
Jacob: The fastest animal on land is the cheetah. And cats' claws only come out sometimes. But cheetahs' claws are always out. Because the claws help them run fast.
Becky: Another great animal fact. So, now I think we're ready to read If I Has a Dragon and when we--
Rotem: (plaintively) Also me?
Becky: Oh, Rotem! Sorry, bud! Of course, go ahead!
Rotem: (choking back giggles) Go-oh! Poop! INNN THHHHHHHE BUUUUUUSH!
A short melody plays on the PA system, signaling the end of the class period.
End of play.
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